Free Day Out In Bristol

“But why me for this assignment?” I stared across at them, “because you are the only one crazy enough.” They looked scared that they’d said it, but I wasn’t going to snap, not yet, I was just happy they hadn’t lied to me.
It was Guy Fawkes Night when I awoke from a bad dream. I looke

d across and saw my scrawled handwriting in front of me telling me I had been assigned a feature on spending the day in Bristol City centre whilst spending no money. The deadline was Friday. I went back to sleep realising I could have two more days hard drinking and still have three days to consider getting the story in.
Wednesday morning: I pull myself out of bed to use the sink and look in to the bathroom mirror; I decide to fix myself a sausage and onion sandwich. Then like my Father before me and my Grandfather before him I step into the cold wet air of a November morning with nothing but the shoes on my feet, the clothes I was wearing and the hat on my head. I was ready to work and that was all that mattered, the money from this article would help me out as well.
I was still over four miles from the centre, a place called Fishponds, so my first task was getting there.

• 10:30 - Procure a digital camera from the university by way of a risk assessment form (risks: audience/public) and leave St. Matthias campus by foot.

• 11:45 - Arrive at the Broadmead shopping district, after people watching, to put it nicely a lot of individual people, on the walk down.

• 11:50 - On the way to The Galleries get to 5th gear on a BSM driving simulator.

• 12:05 - Cruise the elevators and escalators of The Galleries, get some free nuts, then talk to a tourist information lady who gives me a map and circles the free attractions.

• 12:30 – I visit Saint Nicholas market but the variety of smells drives me away knowing I can’t have any of the stuff they advertise.

• 12:45 - Talk to a ‘Friend of the Earth’ for a while she explained the problems and proposed some solutions, I had no money to offer so I gave the gift of knowledge proposing less money spent on public transport and more on flat roads for easy cycling.

• 13:00 - I notice a commotion at the Cathedral so investigate; I quickly discover it is a UWE graduation ceremony/photo opportunity. I go in, talk a bit, take some photos for proud parents and walk out with a bottle of sparkling spring water (another ceremony at 14:45 with promise of red wine!)

• 13:10 - I enter the grandeur of the Central Library, a fine place to spend a penniless day in itself. A clerk recommends a detective novel called ‘Double Indemnity’; I sit and read it for a while to give my legs a rest.

• 14:15 - After walking around the harbour side, speculating about the lives of the boat owners, I ascend Jacob’s Wells road and talk to a blue eyed Bristol Uni girl who gives me vague directions to Cabot Tower. I climb the gratified spiral staircase then stand in the high wind looking out at the panorama of Bristol in its entirety. Then whilst writing this I figured I should hot tail it to my free red wine appointment.

• 14:30 - I return to the Cathedral but get stopped by a vicious looking woman in a military red coat. I tell her I’m a writer but she wont budge. Across the green the benches seem appealing but I am too frustrated to stay long.

• 14:50 - I wander down a road to the Ice rink hoping to watch ice skaters for a while but the session had just ended.

• 15:00 - Near the main fountain area I stop in a doorway to write but notice a man who looks like Justin Lee Collins walk past, I am unsure of his true identity even though the facts (Bristolian accent on TV etc.) suggest my suspicions are correct. A passer comments “that guy’s famous” I move in and ask him if he has any suggestions for spending a day out without spending any money, he has no ideas. So i return to the College Green benches.

• 15:10 - Bus stops are the best places for scrounging cigarettes. Once the giver goes I proceed to smoking my prize under the ‘working towards a smoke free Bristol’ banner for dramatic effect.

• 15:15 - Next stop the Council Houses. Are there any tourist areas? Not really but the courtroom was empty. I take a look around then sit in the most tempting seat of all - the judges chair.

• 15:30 - I head back to the Cathedral doorway in a good mood and I am told I can go in at a quarter to, once the speeches have finished.

• 15:45 - Into the house of God and it’s all I imagined it would be, tables laid with glasses of red wine available to drink at your own pace and pastry snacks. After necking four glasses and talking to a lovely Grandmother then her lovely Granddaughter I leave. The drink is filling my head with hopes of infinite possibilities.

• 16:30 – I write the last entry circled by skateboarders. Skate for a while with them then walk off. I took to the streets for a while asking restaurants if they had any dishwashing jobs they would exchange for a meal.

• 17:35 - Get to Clifton Downs and still no work, head back ready to call it a day.

• 18:25 - At the Bus stop I catch a ride back to Fishponds using a week old ticket.

• 18:50 - Back to joyous student accommodation for a good meal and a chance to study sociology. I read that in this day and age, “there is nowhere to go but to the shops’” (Baudrillard 1983). This might be some peoples mentality but hopefully reading this you realise there is another way (blag, steal or borrow).

There are many free tourist attractions and if you keep your eyes open and your wits about you then you don’t have to spend quite as much as you would imagine. I was born with luck but sure try your hand at not spending if only for a day.I relaxed, job done.